Sunday, April 19

I push myself too hard.

I fail at finishing all the entries about my trip. I promise I'll finish it, maybe by the end of the week. I hope. Everything's just so topsy turvy in my world lately, I can't even be online that much anymore! Boo. I just need to blog about the recent things that have been happening.

So, I went back to uni already last Wednesday. It was horrible. I had to pay a fine for late enrollment, because I was supposed to pay Tuesday but forgot the check at home. Then I realized that I didn't have any cash with me, so I told the cashier that I'd go back. I went to the ATM machines and when I pulled out my wallet I realized that I didn't have my ATM card with me too. I was panicking, I was already 30 mins late for class and I still haven't paid my tuition fees. I was running around the campus and it was so hot, I was so tired already! So I texted my brother to ask if he had extra cash with him, and he did, thank God. But I had to run to the other side of the campus where his class was to get him. More running, and then finally got the cash, ran back to the cashier to pay. I ran to class after, 45 mins late, only to find out that I was in the wrong room! Turned out that whoever did my schedule printed out the wrong room assignment. So it took me another 15 mins to find my room, and when I did, I was an hour late already. I had no clue what the prof was talking about and shizz. Yeah, that was a great first day back.

The next few days at uni were okay, but I bombed the first quiz we had. Lol. I always do that at the start of the semester. I never know how to study for a quiz/exam (if I even study hahaha) until I know what type of tests the prof gives out.

So, after two months of not training, I went back to ballet. And man it was so hard to get back. I've never really stopped dancing for that long, not even during the times when I was out injured, because during those times I still trained. Yeah I know, I don't listen to my physio and I'll be paying for it in the future. *shrugs* I love dancing, no one can stop me.

And because of the long time of not training, I ended up so frustrated at myself because I couldn't do the usual stuff I do. My muscle resistance and endurance are both way off, I couldn't last through the exercises. And I couldn't do my turns! Turns are actually my forte. Whenever I dance, especially when I do all those turning steps and spins (pirouettes, fouettes, chainees, etc.) and other challenging steps, there is this certain feeling that I get. I can't explain it, but it's such a beautiful feeling.

Given that, I guess you could imagine and understand the frustration I've been feeling. I badly wanted to get back in shape and when I want something, I do everything to get/achieve it. Which is bad for me, really. And with dancing, just like any other sport, pushing yourself too hard would damage the muscles. And that's what I got for pushing myself too hard. I kept working so hard on the exercises, doing them over and over again just so I can improve fast. Again, I didn't listen, and now I've got recurrent leg cramps, several muscle strains all over, my bad (left) ankle is sore again, and my right ankle is hurting too. Yay me.

Yes, I'm working this summer again. I cracked, even if I said I didn't want to work any more, and despite the fact that I didn't get paid last summer. I just can't keep myself away from my beloved ballet students. But I took a part-time shift this time, only working on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday from 1-6pm with a 30min break. Its tiring, but better than the 8 hour shift I used to have. And also I get to rest because sometimes my task is to only operate the music and take the attendance. Lol.

Life in general.
Too much stuff going wrong. Idek if I'm going to be paid at work. Oh please let them pay me, I hope they don't do a Valencia on me. Also, I'm kind of in a small life crisis right now. I've planned everything out but now I feel kind of lost, its as if I don't really want all this anymore. And ugh, just... So much more going wrong.

So there, that's basically what's happening to my life lately. Not really interesting. Haha. I really need to get out of this rock that I've been living in and see my friends. I've been putting them off lately, must really see them.