Whirlwind

So right now I still haven't come to terms with accepting reality and fate. Last night I was so numb, so cold, I didn't have the energy to express what I really felt. And then this morning, it began to sink in. I've been in a huge sulk all day and I snap at the littlest things. I'm too heartbroken. I want to stop caring, I want to quit them, I want to hate them. But I can't. I love Valencia too much.

This morning, Ali was telling me that I at least had one team who isn't fail. True that, I'm happy with United. But it's not the same, and it will never console me. I want my Valencia to be okay, to be whole. I want the team I fell in love with. Argh. But seeing them fail in the most important matches really makes me want to hate them. They can fight and even win against big clubs - hello Barca and RM. But when the games are so important, what happens? They don't even try. But still, I love them so much.

So not being in the CL next year means goodbye to a lot of players. I'm slowly accepting the fact that they will leave. I don't want to see any of them in RM or in Barca. I just wish they'd go to a club where they can play their full potential and not waste their great talent away. They deserve so much better. There's still this part of me that continues to hope that they will stay, but...

And tonight, this little comment I found from vcf_fangirls just made me burst into tears again.

"I just have to say 1 more thing.
No matter what happens.
No matter who transfers.
No CL, thats fine.
No matter how poor we're going to be.
No matter what we're wearing next season.
No matter how many ref's hate us.
No matter how much fans will doubt us.
No matter anything.
I will always love...
Valencia Club de Fútbol.
I don't care.
Amunt."

Yeah. Despite all the hurt and the heartbreak, I love you, Valencia. I really do.

EDIT// This article made me cry all over again. The songs are so perfect and so right. *sigh*